Boob deficiency

I'm not the biggest fan of Hoda and Kathie Lee's personalities and irreverent material...but I am a fan of their Wine Wednesdays. Either way, I am already digressing. Stop waving shiny objects in front of my face like wine! So I was watching Hoda and Kathie Lee the other day and they were saying that big boobs were now out, and smaller boobs were in. I felt like the wind was knocked out of me...I felt like a man without a country. My big supple breasts had been part of my identity since I was a sophomore in high school. Without them being of value any more I was left with just a pair of pretty blue eyes. I remember going from a training bra to a full C practically over night...followed by me crying to my mom that I wanted a breast reduction. Thank God she told me to wait until I was at least old enough to get into R rated movies to make that decision. I can't tell you how many VIP tables and glasses of house chardonnay these double dizzles have bought me over the years...and how many times they have prevented me from borrowing money from my mother to pay for VIP tables and glasses of house chardonnay. Well done, Judy!