Dog the Bounty Hunter

My newest reality TV fascination is Dog the Bounty Hunter. My friend Susan lives in Colorado Springs, and said that they do a lot of their filming there. One Halloween she even dressed up as Beth, and was treated like a local celebrity.
Upon first flipping through the stations on a boring and rainy Saturday night (I have to stress that it was raining so that I don’t feel like such a loser for having no plans and committing my evening to watching reality TV marathons), and came upon Dog and his family.
Who hasn’t had a child with Dog? OMG, he has spawn everywhere. And they either have an interesting name or an interesting hairdo. I first had a crush on Leland until a later episode showed him wearing Laura Ingalls Wilder type braids in his hair. Then it was on Duane Lee, who was even hotter but had an affinity towards corny one-liners aimed at Leland. And finally my heart came to rest on Wesley, who is in very few episodes, but who is by far the hottest. Even hotter than Dog’s nephew with the one leg.
And yet, through all of the mullets and horrendous fashion ensembles, I find myself yearning to be a part of their family. I love that they’re reformed bad asses who praise God. I love that every redneck across America showed up for their book tour. It doesn’t matter that these people don’t know how to read, and that the women probably turned a couple of tricks to buy the book, but they formed friendships with Dog and Beth on Twitter, the way God intended. It was almost like watching a remake of the Goonies. I half-expected a camera to pan to Corey Feldman holding up a gold penny saying “this one’s my dream. I’m taking this one back!”
I hope that I’m never in a position where I’m a fugitive from the law, but if I happen to be one living in Colorado Springs or Hawaii, then I hope that Dog, Beth, Laura Ingalls and the rest of the gang are the ones to bring me back to justice.