The UCF Game

My friend Priscilla came down to visit me in Orlando a month ago, and I took her to a college football game. I couldn't figure out why my friend Chris wanted to get there at noon until I found out that it was a dry stadium. What's the point of watching sports sober? Priscilla and I left the stadium and made our way over to Tailgaters, the University of Central Florida's sports bar on campus. Since Chris' boyfriend Aleks (he's Albanian, I didn't spell that wrong) bought the first round, Priscilla and I went inside to get the next one. It was packed wall-to-wall with twenty-something Natural Light and Pabst Blue Ribbon (both are delicacies in the South) drinking college boys watching the end of the game on a big screen TV. We were getting closer to the bar when a boy accidentally elbowed Priscilla in the chest. He looked at Priscilla and she said 'you hit my boob.' He apologized and turned around. I missed the elbow but asked Priscilla what had happened. She explained, but I decided that one apology was not enough so I tapped him on the shoulder. He looked around at me expectantly. 'Excuse me, but did you elbow my friend in the boob?'
'Yes,' he said, 'but I already apologized.'
'I think that you owe her another apology,' my Chardonnay said. The poor boy increasingly looked as if he were about to start crying.
'No, he already did,' Priscilla said, feeling that to make the boy cry in front of his friends would be in poor taste.
'You guys can go in front of me if you want,' he offered. We continued to talk as we ordered our drinks, and then the boy said the most beautiful sentence that I had ever heard 'Wow, you girls are the nicest girls on campus.' I haven't been on any sort of academic campus in over ten years (fraternity parties will be addressed in later blogs). I found it more flattering than if he would have said that I was the most beautiful girl in the world or the skinniest. I let my hair fall gently in front of my crow's feet before asking, 'how old do you think I am?'
'24.'
Wow. How many Natural Lights did you have, kid?
'That's adorable, but I'm 27.' Priscilla gave me a sharp look which I had trouble deciphering. She either could not believe how easily that lie rolled off my tongue, or she wanted help carrying the drinks.